December 4, 1895
No whooping upon the streets. No firing of pistols inside the incorporation. No drunken men in town. These are a few of the blessing of prohibition. Does any citizen wish to exchange these happy days of peace and quiet for the noisy and troublesome days of open saloons? No women and children robbed of the necessities of life and the comforts of home by the father squandering his money for the liquor that saturated his brain with poison and broke down his constitution and reputation. What a happy reflection to think of the blessings enjoyed in a dry town and dry parish. – Farmerville Gazette.
God bless you, brother; you may boast of prohibition and quiet in your “dry” city, but don’t talk about your dry parish. This corner this way is damp enough to create moisture sufficient to drown the entire population, and is noisy enough at times to wake up all the dead people, and scare you out of your wits when there is only an inch plank between you and outdoors. It is a happy reflection to think of the blessings enjoyed in a dry town and dry parish – Junction City News.
There is a way that seemeth right to a man but the end thereof is the “cooler.” So if it is disagreeably wet in your city , brother, there is a process by which you can dry up the town. The grand jury will be in session here next February, and if Tige is going about your village with bottle in hand seeking whom he may make drunk, you are respectfully invited to knock at the door of the grand jury room and it will be opened unto you and you can then tell it all. But if Tige is so obstreperous that you cannot endure him until February a dozen or two “blue whistlers” in the shape of affidavits sworn out before justice G. W. Carroll and given to Tige in the neck by Constable Post, will put Tige where he will cease from troubling, and you, brother, can then take your rest freed of the apprehension of hot lead perpetrating your body while you are peacefully dreaming of the beauties are glories of 16 to 1. Yes, all that is necessary to make the bad and ferocious Tige take to the bushes, or skip the town by the light of the moon, is to give his tail a dozen or two ferocious twists and Tige is no more. He may growl angrily at the first, second, third and even fourth twist, but when the twelfth or twenty fourth twist comes, he will then appear before you in a broken and contrite spirit, having yielded up the ghost of retailing spirituous liquors forever more. Try him on, brother, so your good people can get a night of peaceful slumber before the Christmas holidays.