Dynamite and Ducks, Dogs and Turkeys

Written By Galen White

Don’t cha hate bein’ in a funky mood? You know how it is; you had a bad day at work, or, you just don’t feel very well. Maybe you spouse said something’ that hurt your feelings. There are many, many things that can drag us down. In fact, a close friend of mine once said, “The way my luck runs, if I owned a turkey farm they’d call off Thanksgiving!”  Well, there may be a lot of truth in that, but if you’re like me, you can look around and find someone who is in a lot worse condition than we are.

The proof is in this story from Minnesota. Although taken from the internet, it was told as the truth and tells of two “turkeys” who may not have owned a turkey farm, but could have easily filled the definition of the renowned birds as we commonly know them!

A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator truck for $42,500 and has $560 monthly payments. He and a friend decide to go duck hunting in winter, and of course, all the lakes are frozen. These two guys drive to the lake with their guns, a dog, and the new vehicle.

They drive out onto the lake ice and start getting ready. Now, they want to make a natural landing area so the decoys would float and entice ducks to land. In order to make a hole large enough, it’s going to take a little more effort that an ice hole drill. So, out the back of the new Navigator truck comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse. At least these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and from the new Navigator truck). Furthermore, they don’t want to risk slipping on the ice when they run from the lit dynamite fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast.

They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite as far away as they can. Now, you remember a couple of sentences back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns, and the dog? Well, let’s talk about the dog a moment. The dog is a highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING; and especially well trained at retrieving things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, the dog streaks off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice, headed straight for the dynamite. He reached and grabbed the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the same time as it hit the ice. Following his training, he turns and streaks toward his master. The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on, keeps coming.

One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 birdshot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but then continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and obviously terrified, thinking these two geniuses have gone nuts!

The dog veers away to find cover….., and guess where he finds it! That’s right, directly under the brand new Navigator truck, of course. The men continue to yell as they turn and run away. The exhaust pipe of the truck is still hot, and when the dog brushes against it he yelps and drops the dynamite under the truck, and once again streaks off after his master.

Then  –BOOM–  the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there with this “I can’t believe this happened” look on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED. The owner had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments!!!!

So, next time you feel things are not going well, look around. There”s bound to be someone gobblin’ out there!



Galen WhiteGalen White has written articles for several papers in North Louisiana and is now retired.






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