Life Explained

Written By Galen White

The following is a public service message, so you don’t have to thank me for it. However, I do accept cash, checks, and money orders.

For ages I’ve seen comic strips and cartoons showing someone climbing a high mountain and asking the guru who lives there, “What is the meaning of life?” And I’m sure many of us have considered that question, at least, to some degree.

You know how it is, some dude causes a problem and we ask why people act that way. Or, we tell ourselves that there has to be move to life than what we are experiencing.

Well, thanks to that piece of electronic wizardry called the computer and the e-mail it brings, we now have an answer. Is it the correct answer? Well, I don’t know for sure, so I’ll let you make up your own mind. I will say it makes sense to me, but that, of course, may not be surprising to you.

I hope, at least, that it brings a smile to your face. Here’s the email.

On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten.?”

So God agreed……

On the second day, God created the monkey and said,”Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”

The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”

As God agrees……

On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”

The said, “That’s kind of tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty years and I’ll give back the other forty?”

And God agreed again……

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”

But the human said, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”

“Okay,” says God. “You asked for it.”

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch abd bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Galen White has written articles for several papers in North Louisiana and is now retired.

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