Written By Galen White
Some things in life are considered fortune; others, fate. But just as surely as the first part of that sentence is, in reality, nothing more than God’s blessings, then the latter is no more than what we make of everything else. However, there always seems to be phenomena which have no specific cause or reason. Although I lay no claim to originating these, I can honestly say that I’ve experienced most of them.
For example, how many of you have lost the remote control until to your television? And how many of you found it within thirty minutes after having bought a replacement? See! Is it not true that the easiest way to find something lost is to buy a replacement?
Now, the following may be a bit helter skelter and may even be something other than “unexplained phenomena”. But you know me, I’ve never let such reasoning stand in my way before, so there ain’t no use allowing it to do so today. If you will, sit back, relax, close your eyes, get comfortable, and …., wait a sec. Okay, if you go to sleep, you can read this when you wake up.
Here’s a statement that I prove on a daily basis: “It’s not hard for me to meet expenses.” Now, that may sound egotistical at first, but rest assured, it isn’t. It’s not hard for me to meet expenses….., they are, after all, everywhere I turn! Paying those expenses is the problem!
Remember the adage, “a rolling stone gathers no moss”? Well, a closed mouth gathers no feet! Hey! I oughtta know! A size 10 D boot will fit perfectly in my mouth for I’ve achieved it on more than just a few occasions. And regard less of how good boot leather smells, I do not consider it a tasty treat for the palate. On the other hand, the good side of it is that it’s difficult to insert another foot with one already in your mouth. It also prevents you from talking oughtta both sides of your mouth!
How many times has your mother told you, “One good turn deserves another?” Yeah, me, too. But if you have ever shared a bed with someone, then you learned that one good turn gets most of the blanket.
One would think that an advertisement for an “unbreakable” toy is aimed at parents. Why? Well, a parent wants to spend his hard earned money on something that will last longer than the box it came in. But a child wants the unbreakable toy so they can use it to break all the other toys!
Someone once said, “Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” I will not argue that point either way. I do know this, however. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “y” becomes silent.
Speaking of marriage, how many of you married folks claim your spouse doesn’t pay any attention to what you say? Wanna know how to change that? It’s very simple. Talkin’ in your sleep will do it every time!
There are truisms concerning health, too. For example, good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. And that, folks, brings me to passin’ on this bit of advice. Never take life too seriously ….., nobody gets out alive anyway!
Galen White has written articles for several papers in North Louisiana and is now retired.