He’s a Cat n’ a Half!

Mary K. Hamner
Piney Woods Journal Correspondent

I knew something was up when the old woman brought me inside the house for my breakfast. Snert and his family had cleaned out my feeding dish overnight and I wondered if she thought I might need protection as I dined. Course the coons don’t worry me none and I kinda enjoy their company when they sneak inside the garage to suck up the stuff I cull.

I was getting my usual head rubs over my breakfast of that dry stuff she feeds me, recommended by the Vet understand, I saw something that explained this change in my routine. That cage that I ride in once a year when I go to see the Vet was sitting over against the wall. And then the fun began.

That cat carrier has been around three years now and I was just a kitten when the old woman bought it for the first trip to my primary care doctor. I didn’t like it then but it wasn’t too uncomfortable, but I’ve grown. Being the nice guy I am, I allowed the old woman to stuff me in there and put me in the car. While she was going back inside to get her keys and stuff, I just pushed open the door of the jail I was in and got out.

I was sitting in the car’s front seat with my front paws on the steering wheel hoping she would take the hint and let me drive when she came back out. The look on her face told me that she wouldn’t buy that. So when she opened the car door I jumped out and ran into the woods.

Well, after considerable persuasion, cat treats, and the possibility of stroking and head rubs, I let my guard down. Before I knew what was happening, I was in prison again!

While the gate was being taped shut, I broke out again but that old woman was serious about hauling me down to Hall Summit. This time I was captured and thrown inside the house.

Man it was cool inside and as I heard her car start, I thought I had won, could not believe my good fortune. I checked out the premises, jumped on the bed to test it out, then stretched out on my rug being sure to leave some hair balls here and there as a remembrance for the old woman. The reprieve didn’t last long. I was startled from my nap with the neighbor’s big cat carrier hanging over me!

It sure is a long way to Hall Summit and I howled all the way there and back just to hear the sound of my voice. I got stuck three times and then was subjected to the humiliation of being weighed. “Twelve pounds,” the Vet said. “Normal cats just weigh eight. That makes him a cat and a half.”