Farmerville Gazette, February 8, 1939
Written by Edna Liggin as Uncle Lige
Wal, I’ll be doggone if ma didn’t muss up my colyum last week’. Ma jest ain’t a natural born writer like I am. A-puttin’ in thar about quilt de-signs, settin’ hens and sech follishness! As if my readers keered anything about that! My colyum is to report the real important news and I aims ter do it in my usual brisk and squirtin’ style.
Now fer instant, it’s news when: Messers Henry and Will Smith are Monroe visitors Tuesday … Mr. and Mrs. L. F. Taylor of Holmesville visit Mr. and Mrs. J. H. Lewis over the weekend. Doggone my briar patch, but it ain’t seemed no time since Leone was a-hikin’ to school, now she has one of them purty blonds fer a daugther. Let’s see, fifteen years from now I’ll be … Nope I’m afeered I’m too old fer this blonde. And Ma’s purty healthy yit.
Wal, a blond got me side-tracked, but hyar I go agin … Miss Nell Leggin from Wilhite is visitin’s the home folks … Doris Reeves of Homer is home this week and not feelin’ any too good … Mr. and Mrs. Frank Seibert, Mrs. S. P. Tabor and Mrs. Mattie Barham were Monroe visitors Thursday … E. B. Fowler of Oak Grove visited Mr. and Mrs. W. N. Poland Sunday … Willard Barham and Alvin Houck of Hico visited Mr. and Mrs. Clarence Barham … Mr. and Mrs. Brooks Youngblood of Shreveport visited Mrs. Cummy McDougle.
The folks in these her communities shore do love to play dominoes — The big excitement is due tomorrow (Sunday) when the Concord Sunday School convention will be held and Shiloh and Bernice express their intenshuns of comin’ down and gettin’ thet banner. I shore don’t aim to miss thet fer I knows I’ll see lots of people thar I know. There nothin’ like church singings and conventions to give you a chance to visit yore used-ter be neighbors.
Shore am glad the ground-hog didn’t see his shadow fer those garden seed in the new catalog shore look temptin’. Ma is lookin’ at me quarly shakin’ her head and mutterin’ something about “quilt designs.” I can’t figger out why she should be sayin’ thet when I’m writin’ about garden seed. ‘Course thet’s news I’m writin’ of.
Ma liked to had two fits over the Gazette this week. One wuz her colyum; ‘tother wuz the editorial on us men. I got plumb irked over the way she looked at me as she read a-loud.
“As masterpiece!” she exclaimed. Now I can’t smoke fer to hours befo’ bedtime so’s I can kiss her good-night! All becuz the editor menshuns “smoked mouth”. He musta meant “smoked mouth”. He musta meant “smoked meat” and after forty years Ma needn’t get so pertickullar all of a sudden!