The Gazette
June 28, 1905

The old Diagones in his tub over at Bernice continues to snarl at the Gazette in his puny, envious way, like things on the ground are supposed to regard thing over and above them. The gargled, treaky diction of his obscure sheet bearing about as much relation to legitimate newspaper work as a lightning hug does to a fixed star. The last pain in the vent of the “encyclopedia cognomen” is occasioned by our statement that we were placing two copies of the Gazette to the one of the Herald, weekly, in his home office; a fact we stand ready to prove of this ex-pedagogic failure and senile freak of a journalist is inclined to go to the proof by putting something up on it.

“The good people of Farmerville”, may have “made a mistake by importing a mountebank instead of a journalist, but they are more fortunate than the “good people” of Bernice, who have been called upon by some untoward fate, to bear the affliction of a self-imported, senile Jackass from Yankeedom, who hears about as much affinity to his present surroundings as a bat does to bird realm. However, as a leading citizen of that community remarked to us recently, it is a lose of time for us to consider this antiquated old freak, who represent nothing in his own community or elsewhere, who came South with a spelling book in one hand and a bunch of type in the other to educate us fool Southerners one way or the other and to incidentally harvest a share of the few dollars left us by the scallawagers and carpet-baggers who proceeded him in the sixties.

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